365体育投注

YOLO COUNTY NEWS

Forum Free

Between Friends: COVID-19 changes everything, even on the page

365体育投注This is a scary and scattered time.

When I tried to start this column on Monday, I found it impossible because things change so fast. I decided instead to embrace “scattered” and write only part each day. This led to discoveries, especially towards the end.

————

On Monday, I began to make peace with being high-risk, age 65-plus. For the record, I’m 72. What helped me make peace was two gestures, one from a friend and one from my son. The friend offered to go shopping for me. My son lamented that if I get sick, he won’t be able to fly out and take care of me. I was so touched by these gestures that I’m glad to be high risk just to know about them.

365体育投注Of course, before COVID-19 I was already high risk. People in their 70s are more likely to die than younger people — always were, always will be. It’s amazing the truths we manage to avoid.

————

This year, for the first time, my husband and I were invited to a party of former river guides called “Seder.” Begun more than 40 years ago by rafters with a connection to Judaism, the event morphed into a big annual splash. I kept hearing it was a great occasion.

365体育投注Although my husband and I are former guides, we were never invited, probably because we didn’t work for the company that started the shindig. Finally, this year, friends offered to add our names and we said, enthusiastically, “yes.”

365体育投注However, when our invitation arrived, Seder was scheduled for mid-April when we would be in France. After years of waiting, we had to say “no.”

But then, in the whirl of coronavirus, our trip was canceled and we were “on” for Seder. I began thinking about how happy I would feel to finally go, to be among so many old friends for a party with a rich river tradition and a connection to my Jewish side.

You know how this ends. Seder is canceled, too.

————

By mid-week I was reading about how uncooperative Baby Boomer parents have been when their adult children urge protective measures. Apparently, we boomers refuse to admit that we’re old.

I, too, have been receiving suggestions from my children, but I try to respond affirmatively.

Do I accept my children’s suggestions in order to please them?

365体育投注No. I follow their rules because I want to retain authority. I don’t want to be like a child who has to be scolded into obedience.

I want to remain a parent — someone my children look up to. I’m not sure why that’s so important to me, but it is.

365体育投注In my view, you are truly elderly when you are frail and perhaps mentally handicapped in ways that require your children to take over. Those children still love you, but they can’t follow your guidance anymore.

365体育投注That’s being really old. That’s what I’m afraid of.

————

365体育投注I devote a lot of time to thinking about what happens next. Will local people die? Could I lose someone from my own family? What is our financial system, our social network, our whole country and the world going to become? Scary ideas emerge.

365体育投注Are we going to end up wishing we could go back to the “good old days” when the biggest threat to humanity was merely Donald Trump?

————

365体育投注I see people holding hands, sitting together, and kissing in an old drug ad on TV (and by “old” I mean before last week). Something inside me screams, “Don’t do that!” Where does this emotion come from? Things have changed so fast.

————

My friend Ed, who lives in France, has heard about the Great American Toilet Paper Shortage. What’s missing at his store? Butter.

————

365体育投注Here’s something amusing I found on the Internet, an announcement saying, “Introverts, please put down your book and check on your extrovert friends. They are not OK.”

How true.

————

365体育投注I shared this bit of humor with my hibernation buddy, my husband Bob. I’ve begun to feel sorry for everyone who doesn’t have someone who will come closer than 6 feet.

On the other hand, we engage in some pretty edgy negotiations. We agree we need to buy food. But who shops, the person who is a great cook but often forgets to buy the other person’s items, or the person who remembers to buy everything but chooses avocados that are too squishy? Should it be the person who uses Purell almost as often as he breathes or the person who is good at not touching her face?

Living nonstop with another human being in retirement is already challenging. Try adding confinement, fear of illness and the need to agree on new rules.

————

365体育投注Each day a little more of the truth about our new reality seeps in, like a sponge slowly filling to capacity under a dripping faucet. It takes until Thursday for me to realize that nothing will return to “normal” for a very long time. This includes being able to visit my grandchildren back east.

The tears come.

————

365体育投注I notice that my column entries are getting clipped and short, that despite many hours home alone, my thinking is as jumpy and disordered as the world itself.

————

However, between 6 feet under and 6 feet away, I know what I choose.

— Marion Franck has lived in Davis for more than 40 years. Reach her at [email protected]

CalMatters


Special Publications

Quick Links

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Service (updated 4/30/2015) and Privacy Policy (updated 4/7/2015).
Copyright (c) 2020 , a family-owned local media company that proudly publishes the , , Davis Enterprise, , , , , and other community-driven publications.